Saturday, June 6, 2009
Tuesday, March 17, 2009
Fetchers and carriers!
One of the key advantages of having children is in training them to do what you want. Actually, let me correct that: it's in training them for some time at least to do things for you. Once you cross the phase of "oh the poor darling's arms will ache from wagging them in the wind and looking at the ceiling" or the phase of "let me carry you baby, you poor dear" comes the lean and mean phase of "ah, I can make him do this for me". It took a while for me to catch on, but with the second baby I couldn't wait till he started toddling. Then it was instructions all the way. "Baby, please bring me that book," or "My pet, please take this to your brother" etc. There is no lack of enthusiasm as fetching and carrying makes children feel extremely important. It is one of the first adult activities that they carry out.
The scheme is not without its hitches. The first hitch is in getting them to understand what they need to do. "Not that book, the other one, no the one next to it..." till you are so tired, you pick it up yourself. The second is in directing them to the destination. "Bring it here, baby, no no, no tearing, please that's my favourite book. The bathroom is that way, come here darling, NO!"
After some gruelling training, you and the baby get into the hang of it, somewhat (for better or for worse) But the real issue is when they find out what's been happening. This happens much too soon really. No sooner have you perfected this art, than they start catching on. "Please hand me that towel" "Mummy, I'm so tired, and it is so heavy" "It's a tiny HANDtowel baby" "But it is too heavy mummy, and my hands are paining."
The only way of getting around that is through threats. So we both start playing dirty. "If you are tired, that means you won't be able to watch your favourite TV show, too bad, it's ok."
In seconds what you want happens, and your children are back to being fetchers and carriers. So far so good, at least till they grow out of this as well. One thing I have learnt is that to survive as a parent, you first have to use every tool that a child uses, act, negotiate, coax, threaten. Life gets by.
The scheme is not without its hitches. The first hitch is in getting them to understand what they need to do. "Not that book, the other one, no the one next to it..." till you are so tired, you pick it up yourself. The second is in directing them to the destination. "Bring it here, baby, no no, no tearing, please that's my favourite book. The bathroom is that way, come here darling, NO!"
After some gruelling training, you and the baby get into the hang of it, somewhat (for better or for worse) But the real issue is when they find out what's been happening. This happens much too soon really. No sooner have you perfected this art, than they start catching on. "Please hand me that towel" "Mummy, I'm so tired, and it is so heavy" "It's a tiny HANDtowel baby" "But it is too heavy mummy, and my hands are paining."
The only way of getting around that is through threats. So we both start playing dirty. "If you are tired, that means you won't be able to watch your favourite TV show, too bad, it's ok."
In seconds what you want happens, and your children are back to being fetchers and carriers. So far so good, at least till they grow out of this as well. One thing I have learnt is that to survive as a parent, you first have to use every tool that a child uses, act, negotiate, coax, threaten. Life gets by.
Wednesday, February 11, 2009
Exchanging pleasantries
One of the nice things about having a colleague with a child of a similar age, is being able to discuss the various nitty gritty that goes on in the lives of the progeny. These conversations are those that really give life to work and office hours. It begins quite innocently.
Parent 1: "How's your little one."
Parent 2: "Ah well.. ok, and how's yours?"
P 1: "He's fine too." A battle of a few seconds of politeness and each one cannot wait to start.
P1: "Actually hasn't gone to school today."
P2: "No, really, mine too. What happened?"
P1: "An upset stomach I guess, and yours?"
P2: "Ditto, must be something in the air."
"Or in the stomach," butts in a colleague who is either not married /doesn't have children / whose children have all migrated. "How about lunch, people?"
But nothing can hold back a parent from unleashing long tales about their children. If you are not interested, do we look like we care? A few minutes later and we're at it again.
P1:"You know the thing about runny stools, is all about identifying the root of the problem."
"Do you mind" says butt-in colleague. "We're at lunch."
P2: "Oh, sorry, it's just that my little one has been having these really runny stools and I'm so worried."
P1: "Really? What color?"
P2: "Yellow, you know more like .... ah the yolk of an egg."
Two others at lunch, grimace, but continue to eat.
P1: "Smelly?"
P2: "Ya, that's the worrying bit"
Butt-in colleague gags on his food and departs hurriedly. He's done with lunch. A more inquisitive just-married parent-to-be (you don't know what's waiting for you baby!!) starts tentatively, "Do you guys have to like keep track of their ... um u know all this?"
P1: "What u talking, that's the way you know the baby's healthy"
P2B: "Oh, I see..." (wealth of meaning, already planning the talk to postpone the baby thingy for some more time)
P2: "Guess have to make a trip to the lab today..."
P1: "Ok, so let's meet up with the dope and make sure you get a clean catch"
P2B: "You're going to catch their p.p. .potty?"
P1: "Sure, good thing I've got stock of containers, now the trick is to make sure he does it in time before the lab closes."
P2: "Ya... that's the tough part. Come on let's finish lunch and work quickly. Why aren't the rest of you eating anyway?"
But the duo had successfully managed to evict the table of lunch-eaters with their happy exchange of pleasantries.
Parent 1: "How's your little one."
Parent 2: "Ah well.. ok, and how's yours?"
P 1: "He's fine too." A battle of a few seconds of politeness and each one cannot wait to start.
P1: "Actually hasn't gone to school today."
P2: "No, really, mine too. What happened?"
P1: "An upset stomach I guess, and yours?"
P2: "Ditto, must be something in the air."
"Or in the stomach," butts in a colleague who is either not married /doesn't have children / whose children have all migrated. "How about lunch, people?"
But nothing can hold back a parent from unleashing long tales about their children. If you are not interested, do we look like we care? A few minutes later and we're at it again.
P1:"You know the thing about runny stools, is all about identifying the root of the problem."
"Do you mind" says butt-in colleague. "We're at lunch."
P2: "Oh, sorry, it's just that my little one has been having these really runny stools and I'm so worried."
P1: "Really? What color?"
P2: "Yellow, you know more like .... ah the yolk of an egg."
Two others at lunch, grimace, but continue to eat.
P1: "Smelly?"
P2: "Ya, that's the worrying bit"
Butt-in colleague gags on his food and departs hurriedly. He's done with lunch. A more inquisitive just-married parent-to-be (you don't know what's waiting for you baby!!) starts tentatively, "Do you guys have to like keep track of their ... um u know all this?"
P1: "What u talking, that's the way you know the baby's healthy"
P2B: "Oh, I see..." (wealth of meaning, already planning the talk to postpone the baby thingy for some more time)
P2: "Guess have to make a trip to the lab today..."
P1: "Ok, so let's meet up with the dope and make sure you get a clean catch"
P2B: "You're going to catch their p.p. .potty?"
P1: "Sure, good thing I've got stock of containers, now the trick is to make sure he does it in time before the lab closes."
P2: "Ya... that's the tough part. Come on let's finish lunch and work quickly. Why aren't the rest of you eating anyway?"
But the duo had successfully managed to evict the table of lunch-eaters with their happy exchange of pleasantries.
Learning to Walk
The most exciting phase of watching babies grow is the toddling. For a few months after birth, all we can do is let him have a low angle shot of your face. Then from turning over to creeping on his tummy and crawling – one follows the other and you follow the baby all over. But the best part of the deal is seeing him pull himself to his feet and take his first steps.
No matter what the ads and the feel-good pictures say about it – there isn’t actually a first step. There are many attempts that progressively leading to the walk. Standing up is in itself exciting. From his sit-down position, he uses a piece of furniture for support and pulls himself up. The next step is when he tires to disentangle from the furniture and attempt to remain hovering above the floor. Even before we can round our mouths with a collective wow, there is a thud and he is sitting on the floor with a surprised expression. It is some time before he attempts such an adventure again, but after several such attempts, finally he gains enough balance to remain standing without support. This is a crucial time for any parent. Depending on their classification the parental responses vary. There is the coochie coo group that rushes to their dear darling and ooohmyshweet baby your feetu will paining paining? Then there is the enterprising go-getting group that rushes inside to fetch the camera-tape-batteries, all ready for that mammoth event – the first step, come on let’s move it. The third is the group that holds their breath and you can trace the outline of their face movements in sync with the baby’s swaying. By the time the baby’s done, they usually need a Relispray for their neck! The fourth is the paparazzi; they call up their family, neighbours, friends and relatives and announce that the baby’s now ready for the marathon. The most entertaining parental group is the one that is waiting for the baby to fall “ayyaayyoo, he’s going to bump his head, bump his hand, bump his bump….”; entertaining to all, including the baby. Usually, most parents end up having affiliations to each group at a different time.
However, there is only one type of baby. The type that analyzes what is going on around him, bewildered and then carries on with his work. It’s a strange world he probably says to himself, guess I’ll have to straighten them out quite a bit, so let me get cracking. Finally, at a time when most parents have stopped watching and are in an ah, so he’s standing… phase, that is the time he strikes. And before you know it, he’s taken those first steps. All the groups of parents, conglomerate into just one, one that is looking for the perfect shoe for their little baby!
No matter what the ads and the feel-good pictures say about it – there isn’t actually a first step. There are many attempts that progressively leading to the walk. Standing up is in itself exciting. From his sit-down position, he uses a piece of furniture for support and pulls himself up. The next step is when he tires to disentangle from the furniture and attempt to remain hovering above the floor. Even before we can round our mouths with a collective wow, there is a thud and he is sitting on the floor with a surprised expression. It is some time before he attempts such an adventure again, but after several such attempts, finally he gains enough balance to remain standing without support. This is a crucial time for any parent. Depending on their classification the parental responses vary. There is the coochie coo group that rushes to their dear darling and ooohmyshweet baby your feetu will paining paining? Then there is the enterprising go-getting group that rushes inside to fetch the camera-tape-batteries, all ready for that mammoth event – the first step, come on let’s move it. The third is the group that holds their breath and you can trace the outline of their face movements in sync with the baby’s swaying. By the time the baby’s done, they usually need a Relispray for their neck! The fourth is the paparazzi; they call up their family, neighbours, friends and relatives and announce that the baby’s now ready for the marathon. The most entertaining parental group is the one that is waiting for the baby to fall “ayyaayyoo, he’s going to bump his head, bump his hand, bump his bump….”; entertaining to all, including the baby. Usually, most parents end up having affiliations to each group at a different time.
However, there is only one type of baby. The type that analyzes what is going on around him, bewildered and then carries on with his work. It’s a strange world he probably says to himself, guess I’ll have to straighten them out quite a bit, so let me get cracking. Finally, at a time when most parents have stopped watching and are in an ah, so he’s standing… phase, that is the time he strikes. And before you know it, he’s taken those first steps. All the groups of parents, conglomerate into just one, one that is looking for the perfect shoe for their little baby!
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