The first trimester for a pregnant mother

Pregnant? You are not just 'expecting' a baby, you are also preparing for the unexpected.  

The first trimester for a pregnant mother

In India, they usually ask quite pointedly "Any good news?" Basically that means, have you 'successfully' got pregnant. It is this 'good news' that this piece will take you through. 

(In another blog I focus on adopting babies - that's another exciting journey; but this one is for pregnant parents). 

First of all, the announcement. 

There are a few things to keep in mind even as you plan to make the announcement, but the most useful tip I can give is to say - only start informing family and friends when you feel ready to. That way you also take time to absorb what's happening to you, especially for women, it's a lot to deal with. Also you need to know for sure that this is what you want and you will commit to a lifetime for the baby-to-be. A child is a huge responsibility, an amazing one and a great journey, but you need to commit the time, energy and resources to take care of the baby in the best way possible. Also, ahem... make sure that the confirmation is right. The last thing  you want is to announce a false alarm! (It's happened and very sheepish couples have 'withdrawn' their good news when it was not confirmed.)

   

Be prepared for a multitude of reactions from family and friends. These could range from the most warm and excited wishes to somewhat muted or even dampening responses. 

One of the most put-off comments was from a family friend. When I told them I was expecting, the next thing I hear is - 'Oh... but I believe in family planning.' Red-faced I mumbled out of the room. I thought of a possible response several hours later, but ya, that's too late! 😄 

So look out for positive energy and warmth and believe me, a lot of it comes, people are usually excited, but also be wary of these kinds of weird responses too! Either way, it's your journey. 

Even before planning a baby, parents need to ensure that they have been consulting a gynecologist. This ensures that the doctor not only will get to know you, you will also go through general health checks. Most important women are prescribed iron & folic acid tablets that they need to take regularly before they get pregnant or at least right from the start of their pregnancy. This is important, especially in India, where anemia prevalence is very high among women (ranging around 50% in many states). So you have been in touch with the doctor, you are on IFA tablets, exercising regularly, in good spirits, you're good to go!

In the first trimester, most women would rather not eat. Nausea, drowsiness, mood swings - perfectly normal. However strangely this is the time that people might just ply you with food saying 'you must eat for two now'. That does happen, but it's a bit later. It's fine to be put off at the sight of food during the first few weeks. Nausea (loosely called 'morning sickness' but happening during any time of the day) ranges from very rarely to acute. If it's rare, don't question it, congratulate yourself and quickly get through these weeks. For those who have acute nausea, please ensure that your doctor knows how severe it is and suggests any medical intervention if required.

This is also the time you need to be really careful. Avoiding long travel and hectic journeys, avoiding lifting of heavy weights or climbing activities and taking care of how you sit yourself down or pull yourself up. That's something needs to be done, preferably while providing support with one hand. Also recommended to sleep on your left side and not on your back! That rule kind of stays all through pregnancy. 

We discovered the 'good news' on the eve of a travel journey with friends that took us across long road journeys, jeep drives, safaris and even an elephant ride! We had no idea that all of these things are highly risky. The doctor consultation that happened soon after our return was... well not pleasant. We got such a dressing down for being irresponsible parents and the doctor bluntly asked us to stay put for the next few weeks at least. Fortunately we managed to return safely in our case and the pregnancy proceeded smoothly and quietly after that. We were ignorant, but also we did not want to cancel a trip with our friends. It was definitely not responsible behaviour too, but that's why I'm writing this so other parents-to-be can take proper actions and first of all, know what's expected.   

Most people who are expecting a baby also prefer to wait till the first trimester is over, to inform the world in general. This is also because this phase is a sensitive one and 80% of miscarriages happen at this time which is till about 13 weeks. 

One of the other things that happen during the first trimester is usually the an internal examination that the gynecologist will perform on the mother also maybe an internal scan. This can be uncomfortable or awkward for some women when it happens the first time, but there's more such coming up through the pregnancy, so just breathe out and try to take it in a matter-of-fact manner. Doctors and sonologists are also trained to expect some hesitancy and in my experience deal most of them deal very kindly with women. Some may not explain what they are doing, so it is good to know that, so that it does not come as a surprise. My first internal exam came as a surprise to me - since the doctor did not prepare me for it, so it is better that the patient goes mentally prepared for every visit. (I actually called a new mom to confirm that this was pretty much a normal process that was done! 😂 and changed the doctor!) 

So there's announcement, rest, nausea, medical check-ups and IFA - pretty much a need to stay quiet. But it's usually much more smooth sailing in the second trimester - possibly the 'honeymoon' period of pregnancy, but more about that in my next blog.