One of the key advantages of having children is in training them to do what you want. Actually, let me correct that: it's in training them for some time at least to do things for you. Once you cross the phase of "oh the poor darling's arms will ache from wagging them in the wind and looking at the ceiling" or the phase of "let me carry you baby, you poor dear" comes the lean and mean phase of "ah, I can make him do this for me". It took a while for me to catch on, but with the second baby I couldn't wait till he started toddling. Then it was instructions all the way. "Baby, please bring me that book," or "My pet, please take this to your brother" etc. There is no lack of enthusiasm as fetching and carrying makes children feel extremely important. It is one of the first adult activities that they carry out.
The scheme is not without its hitches. The first hitch is in getting them to understand what they need to do. "Not that book, the other one, no the one next to it..." till you are so tired, you pick it up yourself. The second is in directing them to the destination. "Bring it here, baby, no no, no tearing, please that's my favourite book. The bathroom is that way, come here darling, NO!"
After some gruelling training, you and the baby get into the hang of it, somewhat (for better or for worse) But the real issue is when they find out what's been happening. This happens much too soon really. No sooner have you perfected this art, than they start catching on. "Please hand me that towel" "Mummy, I'm so tired, and it is so heavy" "It's a tiny HANDtowel baby" "But it is too heavy mummy, and my hands are paining."
The only way of getting around that is through threats. So we both start playing dirty. "If you are tired, that means you won't be able to watch your favourite TV show, too bad, it's ok."
In seconds what you want happens, and your children are back to being fetchers and carriers. So far so good, at least till they grow out of this as well. One thing I have learnt is that to survive as a parent, you first have to use every tool that a child uses, act, negotiate, coax, threaten. Life gets by.
The scheme is not without its hitches. The first hitch is in getting them to understand what they need to do. "Not that book, the other one, no the one next to it..." till you are so tired, you pick it up yourself. The second is in directing them to the destination. "Bring it here, baby, no no, no tearing, please that's my favourite book. The bathroom is that way, come here darling, NO!"
After some gruelling training, you and the baby get into the hang of it, somewhat (for better or for worse) But the real issue is when they find out what's been happening. This happens much too soon really. No sooner have you perfected this art, than they start catching on. "Please hand me that towel" "Mummy, I'm so tired, and it is so heavy" "It's a tiny HANDtowel baby" "But it is too heavy mummy, and my hands are paining."
The only way of getting around that is through threats. So we both start playing dirty. "If you are tired, that means you won't be able to watch your favourite TV show, too bad, it's ok."
In seconds what you want happens, and your children are back to being fetchers and carriers. So far so good, at least till they grow out of this as well. One thing I have learnt is that to survive as a parent, you first have to use every tool that a child uses, act, negotiate, coax, threaten. Life gets by.
